Where does impatience come from?

na·ive·té – (n) lack of experience, wisdom, or judgment.

When I’m impatient I feel like I should have something I don’t have right now. It can be a materialistic good, a job, or a physical attribute. It can also be internal attributes like peace of mind, charisma, or humor.

Over the past few months, I’ve painstakingly learned that nothing comes easy in life.

The people who play pianos in hotel lobbies were practicing for 8 years before they got there.

That entrepreneur who just sold his business for x million dollars had been working on startups since he was 10.

That engineer who can build was taking things apart since he could hold a screwdriver.

All of these people have something else in common, other then experience, they make what they do look easy. When you watch a musician play, an entrepreneur ringing the bell at the NYSE, or an engineer make it seems effortless.

By watching them, we think it’s easy. We don’t know what it actually took to get to the finished product. All we know is what we see: they’re enjoying themselves while showcasing their craft. What we don’t see is the sleepless nights, the mental turmoil, and the level of discipline required to learn.

Taking the other side into account gives us a different perspective and a newfound appreciation for their craft. It relinquishes any feeling of envy. We’re left in awe of the resilience and ability of another human. It’s truly beautiful. What’s even more incredible is that we have the ability to put in the time to get close to their skill level. We may not get all the way there but we can get close.

The only way to get close is by actually starting. Often, starting is the hardest thing to do.

Whether it’s going to the gym, learning to code, or learning a new hobby it’s not easy.

We all know this intuitively because there’s something we do right now that is difficult for someone else to start doing. It’s just that sometimes we don’t remember when we started doing it. Many times it’s at a young age when we were unaware. At a young age, we start to build skills and talents that compound in ways we may not recognize until we change our context.

For me, this talent is storytelling.

When I was younger I often watched my dad tell stories and loved how he could evoke emotions in the people listening. I began to mimic this behavior as I grew up. Unknowingly, by listening to my dad’s stories, I was taking a master class on persuasion, emotional intelligence, and crafting narratives. Storytelling is so deeply ingrained in me that I often don’t think it’s a skill.

When I look at building new skills it’s hard and uncomfortable.

Starting something new is difficult because you think it’s difficult not because it actually is difficult.

Learning to code is no harder than learning a new language, sport, or hobby. The learning curve never changes although one’s fluency in a certain topic may change and therefore cause the earliest phases of learning to take more time. This is where patience and discipline come in to save the day. With patience and discipline, one can overcome the challenges of na·ive·té.

Note to self:

Stop being impatient.

Instead of focusing on the end goal, trust the process and build better habits to move forward.

  • Awesome stuff! Your pieces always resonate with me and help me make sense of some things I may not be able to make sense of myself. Very well written, thank you! 🙂

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